I’m only in Jaipur for another 3 weeks and trying to make the most of it! Recently I’ve been battling with more deep seeded negative thoughts and I don’t like it one bit. However, I see it as a blessing for if I don’t continue to face my fears I won’t be able to progress in life. One big thing I’m learning and practicing is that you can’t change the way others think about you but you can change the way you think about yourself. Ultimately this is what I’ve seen most recently. I must keep positive and see myself for who I truly feel I am plus who I KNOW I am in my heart. Life is filled with obstacles when you take on the path of inner studies and taking the risk of living life differently to the mainstream. I feel I have consistently faced challenges, hard opinions and criticism however, whatever it is in me, from the ego to past life habits, it needs these external forces to feed it and justify it’s existence.
Well now it’s time to justify another way of being. All this chatty nonsense is becoming clear as I learn how to listen to the language within me and translate it for what it really means not what it wants me to believe. I am very slowly waking up – SLOWLY – but it is happening. It’s happening because I intend to be happy and although I may not speak of it everyday, it’s etched in my heart.
I want to write lots more but for now know that I am here on the same journey as you. I am constantly facing my fears but now I chose to be alive. I am alive and I will continue to discover the mysteries of being alive whilst sharing it with as many people as possible because I’m determined that our way of living, our attitudes, our experiences of being human can be amazing, positive, peaceful and we can live as if we were part of a complete jig-saw puzzle. We can feel whole, happy within ourselves and free. I know it’s possible and I experience it more and more each day. So take on the journey, the research, the lessons and reflections because there is nothing more amazing than seeing what lies beyond your immediate self.
On the Jaipur note, we went to a beautiful concert the other night at the Kawa Cultural Centre. Run by Marie-Noëlle Jaffré, the centre is close to Amber Fort amongst the green hills and desert. As we got out of car after a very bumpy ride, suddenly you could see the spectacular stars and that’s what I love about being out of Jaipur, suddenly the stars dare to show their faces and shine brightly into your soul. I feel so alive when I see the stars at night and miss it desperately when I’m in London.
We watched the live performance by Allarakha Kalavant (sarangi) and Shabbir Hussain (tablas) who belong to the generation of new, up and coming Indian classical musicians. We sat around in the light hall watching these two very talented men play such unusual instruments with huge amounts of talent right in front of us. The only problem we had were the crickets. They were very drawn to the lights and started jumping like crazy. If you’re not a fan of bugs – this may be hell for you! Marie-Noëlle followed the performance with a delicious dinner in the gardens surrounded by candle light. She’s hoping to do these sort of events once a month and it’s a fantastic way of being in Jaipur with a twist of cultural magic. I enjoyed it very much. You can find Kawa Cultural Centre on Facebook for up and coming events plus they’re updating their website as we speak to feature all their future performances.
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